Different Cups of Tea

One of the hardest thing within this TTC journey would be knowing someone close to you is getting pregnant (especially when it “seems” they get pregnant so easily, without even trying or planning it). Once I was just crying knowing a friend in my Whatsapp group is 5 months pregnant with second child. FYI: Among 8 of my closest friends, I was the only one with no child – talking about the odds *o* My friends have been all very supportive, one of them also had issue with multiple miscarriages in the past. But still sometimes of course there are topics that I could not follow, as I might have no experiences in those particular area of rising a newborn or toddler, etc… (Though I might be ahead in terms of Indonesian actor/tresses’ scandals lol)

Just last week when I was at Singapore seeing my Obgyn, I heard news of close relative is expecting. I would not say it didn’t hit me hard. I just FLIPPED. In times like these, I would be like Smeagol-slash-Gollum: Ohh how could she get pregnant first…??/You’re such a bad person! You should be happy for her/Why not me first God??/I should congratulate her… Keeping sanity was becoming quite a struggle here 😦 I was googling on some TTC forums about this stuff. And I found this woman who had 7 miscarriages (!) talking about how we should not get jealous of others’ pregnancy. Because everyone might have gone through issues of their own. If they fall pregnant, it does not mean they’re happier or their life is perfect. Her sister was getting pregnant and she really did think this would bring joy into the family. This woman definitely has the biggest heart<3

In my own perfect world of course it would be great if everyone is getting pregnant in such an orderly fashion :p But I’m not living in it. And also I would be feeling awful if one day (again fingers-crossed) my pregnancy news would make others feel bad. I pray for everyone who’s expecting to have a healthy full-term pregnancy and safe delivery. It has been quite a lonely journey here, but i’m certainly not wishing more people I know would be joining. For now, I’ll just try to absorb everything slowly. No need to rush. My heart would find its peace at its own pace…


2 thoughts on “Different Cups of Tea

  1. ☹️☹️☹️☹️ i wish i could make you feel better.. *hug lots of *hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 using this emo just because no hug emo in emoji 🙄 it’s really a hug no b..b touching involved 😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

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