Be Glad (or Not)

My name got called finally at 11.30pm (as expected if you had Q no 37). We showed our doctor the blood test result. He mentioned that the positive Anti DS DNA was not something to be worried about, since ANA test also showed negative result. So at this point, last two recurrent miscarriages were still unexplainable (*huh*). Doctor said 50% of the possibility was bad quality of embryo that my body naturally rejected. HcG level still remained at 43, we were requested to take another Betta HcG test within to next two weeks to check if it had come down to 5 or below.

On one hand, I knew we should be grateful that everything was okay. But on the other hand, I also knew I would not (could not) stop wondering what went wrong… My head kept playing all the worst scenario I could think of every time I went to bed. I just kept praying that if God let us have another pregnancy again (yes, the fall-pregnant-thing itself had never been easy too), please please please give us a healthy full term pregnancy with a healthy baby. I know He makes everything perfect on His time ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, when we were waiting at the hospital, I saw a woman came with her husband. She kept holding her stomach in agony. I didn’t know what she was been through. I felt sorry for her too. It just made me realise that maybe I had been focusing on myself too much. That a lot of other women might be going through the same journey as I do. Or even worse. ย And how they still manage to be strong and brave. It makes me feel that what has happened to me actually was not something unusual. Just better luck next time!

Note: Aside from drinking Peppermint tea, now I have been taking Blackmores Conceive Well Gold for almost a month (other than important ingredients like Folic Acid, Calcium, Vitamin B, etc, it contains 500 mg of Fish Oil – which Elevit doesn’t). I’ve been reading about the benefits of fish oil (or Omega 3) in early pregnancy health, so yeah I’ll just give it a try ๐Ÿ™‚

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